I honestly don't know what to say

For a title. Plenty to say for this post.

Straight up, I didn't want Mike to buy Wonderboy another vehicle. He totalled my Tahoe. He ran the Jeep with no oil to the point it blew the engine after spending a whole summer replacing the engine in it that Bear ran with no oil until the engine blew. I figure we get you a vehicle and you tear it up, the next one's on you. Mike wanted a truck, though, and bought one from his boss. We're still paying on it every paycheck. Wonderboy's been driving it this whole time. Slick, no?

Wonderboy called Mike when he got up Saturday morning to tell him that a piece of metal flew off a pickup truck and dented the fender, cracked the windshield and tore the driver's side-view mirror off the truck. When Mike called me to tell me what happened, my first reaction was 'Wonderboy's lying'. When it's a big one, he always goes through Mike first. I think he figures if he can convince Mike then Mike will tell me and I'll have no choice but to believe it because my husband said it's so. I called Wonderboy but he didn't answer. He did, however, send me a text reply to the call saying he was ordering a new mirror and then was going to chill with his friends. He has no money and I'm not stupid. I told him that no, he wasn't going to chill with his friends, that I wanted to see the truck now. He said ok. He was 10 minutes away. An hour later I sent him another text. Then another. Not quite two hours later I get a call from Mike saying Wonderboy wants me to chill out. If you've read me for any length of time I'm sure this next bit won't surprise you.

I. Was. Pissed!

He finally brings the truck home and he and I went out to look at it. I told him it looked like he hit something. The dent in the fender? That was the impact 'dent'. There's no fixing that and let me tell you, Mike can fix *anything*!! I've seen him pull dents out so that you couldn't tell it'd been dented. Crazy dents. This 'dent' smashed the fender in and curled it up. Removed a lot of paint, too. The crack in the windshield? Wonderboy had told Mike that it wasn't a big deal since there was already a crack in it. This 'crack' is full of shattered glass that hasn't fallen out yet. I will have to get a picture and post it so you can see what I'm talking about. The windshield will have to be replaced now. Come January/February when this part of Iowa dips to arctic temperatures, it's going to explode (slightly dramatic word there) when the sub-zero temps hit it. The side-view mirror? Yep. Ripped plum off the truck, assembly and all. You can see the frame where it was mounted to.

He wouldn't budge from his story no matter what I said. Oh, his story. I'll relay it here. He was driving on the two lane highway towards our town. In the oncoming lane going away from our town was a pickup truck that was overloaded with scrap metal. A piece of metal came off the truck and hit our truck. Originally he said he hadn't yet passed the truck, that he was looking at the trucks headlights when it happened. I called bull on that as it kind of defies the laws of motion/physics. Especially since the pickup never stopped, was in constant motion. This happened at 2am but he has no clue where he was on the highway. It's an eight mile stretch but there are side roads, farms, signs, more than a few 'place-holders'. When I told him nothing came off the back of that truck and travelled through the air forward to hit our truck, Wonderboy said there was a grate up at the back of the bed to keep anything from falling off, so the metal had no choice but to fly forward.

Today he changed his story and said he was passing or was just passed the truck when it happened.

He also said he never stopped. Today he said he did but I think that's because when he said he looked for the mirror, I asked him how he managed that since he A) never stopped and B) had no idea where it happened. So today he stopped when it happened. Whatever hit the truck left bits of concrete in the 'dent' and the windshield. Wonderboy couldn't explain that and, didn't try. He got mad at me for questioning his story and then, to make it even better, got angry because I won't let him drive the gas he put in the truck out. (warning, I'm about to unload) Forget the fact that I've filled that damn tank up so many times I've lost count. Forget the fact that he wrecked the truck and then waited at least eight hours before calling to let us know. Forget that fact that he wrecked the truck and then went to 'chill' with his friends. Forget the fact that he's been caught pulling money out of my bank account and making purchases with my bank card all without my knowledge. Forget that even though he's been caught red-handed, he's lying about it. He stole the rings Mike had from his dad. When his dad died earlier this year, the consulate sent Mike his dad's belongings. They were a broken watch, two wedding bands and his college ring. The rings are fucking gone and Wonderboy is suddenly expecting a big check, supposedly from a farmer he hasn't worked for in two months! Mike said the college ring alone was worth $300-500. Depending I guess.

And let's just forget that we have to replace a fucking windshield, fender and mirror. That damn $10 worth of gas his friend gave him is FAR more important!

He really expected me to give the keys back to him! He was so uber ugly and angry I told him to go home. If he hadn't, I knew I was fixing to blow completely up right in his face. Spit and all. I was so mad! And there's more. He got a careless and reckless ticket back in August. Never went to court, never paid it, nothing. I didn't know about this until last week when they sent a mail saying his license is going to be indefinitely suspended come January. He told me he'd never gotten a ticket and he didn't care. I even went as far as to offer to help him pay it if he'd just tell me what the ticket was for. I had to go online and search court records to find out. I'll stop with it here as I don't know if I want to be angry or cry again.

That's what I've been doing this evening. Crying. Cause I'm stupid and weak and I'm worried for him. He's been getting high again. He says he hasn't but he's been more 'empty/emotionless' the last couple of weeks than not. He's also been doing that violent puking thing again. He's been hanging with old and a couple new friends and they've been carting him around the last couple of weeks. Guessing there's free whatever at his friends apartment? My heart feels like the windshield looks. I don't know why he steals from us so much. I'm shocked that he wrecked the truck and then acted like he was the victim. He flat doesn't care that he's wrecked the truck and won't tell us what really  happened. I said up there I'd stop, didn't I? I lied. Deal with it.

This has been such a crazy weekend. I got some news that, in the long run, is going to work out to be a good thing but it jolted my hearts to a thousand bits with the woulda couldas. We're refinancing our house and some guy is coming tomorrow morning to do a walk through for the bank and my house is nowhere near ready for some stranger to come and check it out. I was super sick last week (like, crazy OMG sick) and although it's passed, I still feel drained. Like I've got thick sludge running through me. I haven't made my Christmas dinner grocery list. Hell, I don't even have any milk in the house and I'm scraping the bottom of the pet food bins. Mike didn't have time to do any shopping so I have to go. I can't tell you how badly I hate shopping. With a fiery purple passion. We've just bought new carpet for our NC house and built a new porch/deck on it so this monster grocery bill is going to have to go on credit. I can't send Wonderboy with my credit card. That's too dangerous. And damn if I didn't slam my bad knee into the kitchen doorway again this weekend. It's still rather painful from that fall a couple of weeks ago.

Sometimes, it's just too much.

Seeing just how ugly my own son can get with us with his disrespect and his attitude, when he's SO FUCKING IN THE WRONG! And he doesn't give a damn because now he's out $10 of gas! Omg. I'm so stressed I'm afraid that all this extra vitamin D isn't going to work to thwart off another armpit explosion. I can already feel the pinch from the gland swelling.

Anyway, I'm a big old whiny-baby, aren't I? Said earlier I was going to force myself into the Christmas spirit tomorrow. That may have to wait until Tuesday. I don't even want my tree up anymore right now.

/crybaby out